The Importance of Post Divorce Counseling - Collaborative Family Law Association of St. Louis

Collaborative Family Law Association

< Back to All Posts

The Importance of Post Divorce Counseling

CFLA Former Member

Post-divorce counseling must sound like an oxymoron. If you were going to go to counseling you would have gone while you were married to save the marriage, right? Post-divorce counseling isn’t about “saving” the relationship, rather, it is about the children (if any) and learning.

Post-Divorce Counseling Helps You and the Children

There are a few things families who go to post-divorce counseling will learn and discuss:

  • The relationship between the x-partners must be redefined
  • Options for redefining the relationship and differences between co-parents and parallel parents
  • Appropriate boundaries for everyone in the family, especially when the family becomes “blended” through remarriage
  • Talk openly about what went wrong, and learn from past mistakes

The last bullet is a tall order for many divorced couples because there is typically so much hurt and anger that it is hard to give or receive constructive information.

Think of your relationship with your x-partner post-divorce as a business relationship; parenting is the business and the product is mentally healthy, productive members of society. Years and years of volatile parental alienation and arguments damage kids for years, even into adulthood.Having a conversation with a mental health professional that specializes in divorce is of utmost importance when seeking this kind of service. There are many professionals out there and it is your right as a client to conduct a short interview when pursuing the right professional for you. If you do this you will reduce your chances of getting frustrated or dropping out of therapy by finding a counselor that fits your family quickly and efficiently.

Kristin is a former member of CFLA.

More Posts from this Author

May 27, 2019
Make Your Missouri Divorce Less Painful: 5 Do's & Don'ts

Make Your Missouri Divorce Less Painful Preparation, getting the right support, and making sure you educate yourself on the right and wrong things to do can make the process a little less painful. Let’s take a look at some of the best and worst things you can do during the divorce process. Here are 5 […]

Read More
April 18, 2019
How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable

It’s time to decide whether your child will get their own cell phone.  Whether you are going through a divorce, divorced, or never married, Collaborative Practice offers some valuable lessons for making this and other important parenting decisions. There is a real need for certain limitations on your child’s use of their cell phone, to […]

Read More
February 18, 2019
The Drama-Free Divorce

There’s something to be said for the “drama-free” divorce.  Well, maybe not drama-free, since getting a divorce tends to be a very emotional chapter in the lives of most couples.   But in my opinion, a divorce with minimal drama ought to be a goal. The Cost of Drama in Divorce It’s not that I don’t […]

Read More
February 5, 2019
Special Considerations: Grief During Divorce When You Have a Special Needs Child

Parents of special needs or medically complex children move through their life with a certain amount of grief always present.  Grief is the name of the process we are hard-wired to experience when we face loss or transition.  Parents are deeply connected to the hopes and dreams they have for their children often years before […]

Read More
February 5, 2019
Special Considerations: Getting a Divorce When You Have a Special Needs Child

Getting divorced when you are the parent of a special needs or medically complex child can seem like a daunting task that could put an unbearable amount of additional stress on an already stressed-out family system.  Many couples with a special needs child make the default decision to stay in an unhappy marriage because the […]

Read More
December 1, 2018
Understanding Grief in Divorce

When two people get married they emotionally attach to dreams, hopes, fantasies and plans of what their life will be like.  For some, getting and being married is a central part of their religion or spirituality.  Getting divorced forces people to let go of deeply held hopes and dreams and re-negotiate their world view.  The […]

Read More
October 1, 2018
How To Tell Kids About the Divorce?

More goes into telling your kids about divorce than just having a one-time, prepackaged sit down and delivering the information. The stage of development that your child is in will have a big impact on how you have the conversation about your divorce and what to expect next. Children who are young, under 5, are […]

Read More
September 1, 2018
Collaborative Divorce Process: 6 Insights From a Collaborative Divorce Coach

Divorce is on your horizon and having experienced professionals in your corner will make the collaborative divorce process less time consuming and arduous. If you are seeing a therapist, hopefully you are, your therapist should be one of those helpers getting you through the emotional obstacle course, as well as providing you logistical information. Even […]

Read More
August 30, 2018
A Tale of Two Houses

Money has emotion attached to it. Money represents security and safety. Lack of money means insecurity and fear. Divorce means money will be split up. Splitting one pot of money into two pots of money creates emotion, and rarely are these emotions positive. For many in divorce, it’s a surprise that their 401k is a […]

Read More
March 30, 2018
How Do I Get A Simple Divorce?

SO, YOU WANT A SIMPLE DIVORCE?  I often hear this from prospective clients, usually in relation to the anticipated cost of getting divorced.  As in, “how much will it cost me for a simple divorce?”  My answer is normally, “it depends,” and that begins a rather lengthy conversation about what, exactly it depends on. In […]

Read More

St. Louis Collaborative Family Law Association

Divorce … A Different Way, A Better Way, With Integrity.
© Copyright 2022 - Collaborative Family Law Association - All Rights Reserved
crossmenuchevron-down linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram