Post-divorce counseling must sound like an oxymoron. If you were going to go to counseling you would have gone while you were married to save the marriage, right? Post-divorce counseling isn’t about “saving” the relationship, rather, it is about the children (if any) and learning.

Post-Divorce Counseling Helps You and the Children

There are a few things families who go to post-divorce counseling will learn and discuss:

• The relationship between the x-partners must be redefined
• Options for redefining the relationship and differences between co-parents and parallel parents
• Appropriate boundaries for everyone in the family, especially when the family becomes “blended” through remarriage
• Talk openly about what went wrong, and learn from past mistakes

The last bullet is a tall order for many divorced couples because there is typically so much hurt and anger that it is hard to give or receive constructive information.

Think of your relationship with your x-partner post-divorce as a business relationship; parenting is the business and the product is mentally healthy, productive members of society. Years and years of volatile parental alienation and arguments damage kids for years, even into adulthood.Having a conversation with a mental health professional that specializes in divorce is of utmost importance when seeking this kind of service. There are many professionals out there and it is your right as a client to conduct a short interview when pursuing the right professional for you. If you do this you will reduce your chances of getting frustrated or dropping out of therapy by finding a counselor that fits your family quickly and efficiently.

Kristin is a former member of CFLA.