The collaborative divorce process is designed for couples who want to separate respectfully and thoughtfully. Instead of working against each other, divorcing spouses work with a team of professionals—legal, mental health, and financial—who are all focused on helping them reach agreements that support both spouses and, most importantly, their children.
Divorce naturally brings a lot of uncertainty. It often requires a shift in how people think about their future, which can feel overwhelming. It’s common for anxiety, suspicion, or distrust to surface—especially if communication has already been difficult. In that kind of emotional space, it’s fair to wonder: Can I really trust a collaborative process?
Understanding the Collaborative Divorce Team
One helpful way to build trust is to understand who’s involved and what they’re there to do. While each professional comes from a different background, everyone shares the same goal: helping both people move forward in a way that feels respectful and sustainable.
Why Professionals Choose This Process
The professionals in the St. Louis Collaborative Family Law Association have seen divorce from the litigated perspective and from the collaborative perspective. The attorneys have negotiated in the shadow of the courthouse or have sometimes had to try cases to attempt to get the best outcome for their clients. Financial professionals have helped people rebuild after divorce or served as experts in high-conflict cases. Mental health professionals have supported adults and children through the emotional strain that often comes with divorce. Over time, many of us have seen how a “me vs. you” or “win–lose” approach can leave lasting stress and can even bring harm to members of the family.
That’s a big part of why we choose to do this work differently.
The collaborative process gives us a way to support families in making really hard decisions in a more respectful and less adversarial way. We know that even though the structure of a family is changing, the relationships don’t just go away, especially when children are involved.
Our focus is on helping you move forward in a thoughtful, supported way. That might mean looking at creative financial solutions, leaning on each person’s expertise (including yours), and making sure both voices are heard along the way. We also keep an eye on the future and help parents build the best co-parenting relationship they can, making space for children to feel supported and understood throughout the process.
Specialized Training Matters
All collaborative professionals are trained as mediators, but this is not a traditional mediation process. We also receive specific training in communication, unique problem-solving and conflict resolution approaches, and teamwork. This shared foundation allows us to work together effectively and to keep the process centered on each person’s goals and on cooperation rather than conflict.
We’re not just focused on legal or financial outcomes; we’re also mindful of the emotional impact on you and your family. The goal is to support the whole picture, not just one piece of it. Our role is to guide conversations, reduce tension, and help you explore options together. Rather than pushing decisions, we aim to support you in finding solutions that reflect your shared goals. This approach often leads to more thoughtful, lasting agreements.
Our Commitment
At its core, the collaborative divorce process is about creating a space where both people can feel heard, respected, and supported. The focus stays on what matters most: finding the best possible outcome for your family.
Choosing the collaborative path means choosing a more thoughtful, team-based approach to divorce—one that values communication, respect, and long-term well-being. The professionals doing this work share the hope and goal of guiding you through it with care and professionalism so you can move forward with confidence.
