Can We Both Use the Same Divorce Attorney? - Collaborative Family Law Association of St. Louis

Collaborative Family Law Association

< Back to All Posts

Can We Both Use the Same Divorce Attorney?

CFLA Former Member

This is a question many couples ask who are thinking about divorce.   There are many reasons why people want to use one attorney and usually, it comes down to finances.  How can we cut our costs of this divorce since attorneys are expensive,  how can we divorce and not get into a nasty court battle and how can we remain civil because of the children?

Although a divorce can be costly if two attorneys are involved, a lawyer cannot represent both sides in a divorce.  So, even though the simple answer is NO, one attorney cannot represent both parties in a divorce, the complex answer is YES only one party has to hire an attorney.   So one lawyer can be used for a divorce IF they only work for one side.   The next question is how can an attorney work for only one side and still do all the paperwork for the divorce?  The example below explains how the process could work.

Example of Using One Attorney

For example, Wife hires an attorney.  Wife meets with the attorney who will go over the divorce process and what is necessary to get divorced.  Wife’s attorney will prepare the documents for filing the case with the court and sends all of the documents to Husband.    Husband can get the documents filed at the courthouse by service, or by mail if Husband signs a document saying he got the court papers and he does not want a sheriff to serve them with papers.    There are deadlines and timeframes that everyone must follow whether they are represented or not represented by an attorney.

Wife will then meet with the attorney and provide the attorney with her understanding of the agreement between her and her Husband.    The attorney will write up the agreement based on what the Wife tells the attorney.  The Husband will get copies of this agreement for him to review.   If Husband agrees with everything in the paperwork that Wife’s attorney has prepared he does not need to hire an attorney.    If he agrees with most of it he can go back to his Wife and request changes.  And if she agrees, then she contacts her attorney to change the paperwork.  If the agreement reflects what both Husband and Wife want, then the agreement is signed.   In this example only one attorney is used to complete the divorce.  However, the attorney does not meet with Husband.

Sometimes it is confusing to say Wife hires the attorney if Husband pays a part or all of the attorney fees of Wife's attorney.  However, the payment of attorney fees does not mean you have hired the attorney.  Only if you have entered into an agreement that the attorney will represent you have you hired the attorney.      In this example, Husband and Wife used only one attorney but only Wife was represented and the only person to meet with the attorney.

One Divorce Attorney Cannot Represent Both Sides

Many people wonder why the attorney cannot meet with both parties and do work for both of them.  Attorney ethic rules say an attorney cannot represent both sides of a case even if both sides are in agreement.  In a divorce even if everyone agrees on the outcome, the parties are on opposite sides of the case.    The only exemption is if the attorney is serving as the mediator of the divorce and then they can meet with both parties.  In the case of a mediator, both parties would sign an agreement with the mediator and it would be clear the attorney is acting in this case as a mediator and not an attorney for either the Wife or Husband.

About the Author : Sharon Remis

Sharon is an attorney and former member of CFLA.

More Posts from this Author

May 27, 2019
Make Your Missouri Divorce Less Painful: 5 Do's & Don'ts

Make Your Missouri Divorce Less Painful Preparation, getting the right support, and making sure you educate yourself on the right and wrong things to do can make the process a little less painful. Let’s take a look at some of the best and worst things you can do during the divorce process. Here are 5 […]

Read More
April 18, 2019
How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable

It’s time to decide whether your child will get their own cell phone.  Whether you are going through a divorce, divorced, or never married, Collaborative Practice offers some valuable lessons for making this and other important parenting decisions. There is a real need for certain limitations on your child’s use of their cell phone, to […]

Read More
February 18, 2019
The Drama-Free Divorce

There’s something to be said for the “drama-free” divorce.  Well, maybe not drama-free, since getting a divorce tends to be a very emotional chapter in the lives of most couples.   But in my opinion, a divorce with minimal drama ought to be a goal. The Cost of Drama in Divorce It’s not that I don’t […]

Read More
February 5, 2019
Special Considerations: Grief During Divorce When You Have a Special Needs Child

Parents of special needs or medically complex children move through their life with a certain amount of grief always present.  Grief is the name of the process we are hard-wired to experience when we face loss or transition.  Parents are deeply connected to the hopes and dreams they have for their children often years before […]

Read More
February 5, 2019
Special Considerations: Getting a Divorce When You Have a Special Needs Child

Getting divorced when you are the parent of a special needs or medically complex child can seem like a daunting task that could put an unbearable amount of additional stress on an already stressed-out family system.  Many couples with a special needs child make the default decision to stay in an unhappy marriage because the […]

Read More
December 1, 2018
Understanding Grief in Divorce

When two people get married they emotionally attach to dreams, hopes, fantasies and plans of what their life will be like.  For some, getting and being married is a central part of their religion or spirituality.  Getting divorced forces people to let go of deeply held hopes and dreams and re-negotiate their world view.  The […]

Read More
October 1, 2018
How To Tell Kids About the Divorce?

More goes into telling your kids about divorce than just having a one-time, prepackaged sit down and delivering the information. The stage of development that your child is in will have a big impact on how you have the conversation about your divorce and what to expect next. Children who are young, under 5, are […]

Read More
September 1, 2018
Collaborative Divorce Process: 6 Insights From a Collaborative Divorce Coach

Divorce is on your horizon and having experienced professionals in your corner will make the collaborative divorce process less time consuming and arduous. If you are seeing a therapist, hopefully you are, your therapist should be one of those helpers getting you through the emotional obstacle course, as well as providing you logistical information. Even […]

Read More
August 30, 2018
A Tale of Two Houses

Money has emotion attached to it. Money represents security and safety. Lack of money means insecurity and fear. Divorce means money will be split up. Splitting one pot of money into two pots of money creates emotion, and rarely are these emotions positive. For many in divorce, it’s a surprise that their 401k is a […]

Read More
March 30, 2018
How Do I Get A Simple Divorce?

SO, YOU WANT A SIMPLE DIVORCE?  I often hear this from prospective clients, usually in relation to the anticipated cost of getting divorced.  As in, “how much will it cost me for a simple divorce?”  My answer is normally, “it depends,” and that begins a rather lengthy conversation about what, exactly it depends on. In […]

Read More

St. Louis Collaborative Family Law Association

Divorce … A Different Way, A Better Way, With Integrity.
© Copyright 2022 - Collaborative Family Law Association - All Rights Reserved
crossmenuchevron-down linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram