5 Ways to Cope with Your Feelings During Divorce - Collaborative Family Law Association of St. Louis

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5 Ways to Cope with Your Feelings During Divorce

CFLA Former Member

When people think of springtime, they think of flowers, sunshine, warm weather, and fun times. School will let out in the next few months. Perhaps your neighbors are planning a summer getaway and a part of you is wishing you were enjoying life as much as they appear to be enjoying it. While it may appear that people are preparing for some R & R, you may be going through tougher times whether it’s by divorce, separation, or seeing your ex bringing a new romantic partner into his or her life.

When it seems like everyone around you is carefree, here are 5 ways to cope with your feelings during a divorce.

1. Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.

Anger is a natural emotion. Many people have the misconception that anger is a bad thing when it’s not. In fact, there are basic universal emotions all human beings experience: anger, sadness, gladness, and fear. Sometimes, talking with friends or family members can have its limitations. It’s time to seek the guidance and support from a mental health professional. Counselors and therapists provide guidance and emotional support for people at all levels of need. Therapy is a great tool to explore your emotions.

2. It’s ok to have a pity-party…temporarily.

There’s no timeline on how long you must feel, however, there are warning signs for when feeling sorry for yourself is more harmful than helpful. When life feels unenjoyable and you notice yourself becoming more irritable, have thoughts of self-harm, show disinterest in doing things you used to love doing, feel fatigued, feel worthless, and have trouble sleeping and eating. Consult with your medical provider to assess if you may be going through depression.

3. Boundaries.

This is a great topic to discuss if you decide to see a therapist or to contemplate on your own. You may be going through a new experience where you are figuring out who is genuinely seeking to be emotionally supportive and who is not. Take into consideration who you let into your inner circle of family and friends who are emotionally supportive and objective. Keep in mind as well that you want to maintain boundaries in the workplace. Who wants to be the topic of discussion around the water cooler at work?

4. It’s ok to have fun and be happy.

Sure, sometimes you see people moving on and moving forward without you. You may even feel that you are obligated to feel sad. You may also have feelings of guilt depending on how you’ve transitioned into a new stage of life as a divorced person or finding love again with someone new. There may be challenges ahead but happiness takes time.

5. Create a routine.

By having a daily routine you learn healthy habits such as taking a stroll in your local park, walking your dog, maintaining good health, taking your medication as prescribed, exercising, eating nourishing meals, and going to work. Some people take building a daily routine to another level and include fun activities such as spending time with loved ones on a Saturday afternoon for a date night. Creating a daily routine helps decrease feelings of anhedonia (no motivation) and increase feelings of happiness.

About The Author: Tiffany Sidney

Tiffany is a mental health professional and former member of CFLA.

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