Divorce Mediation and the Collaborative Divorce Process are alternatives to adversarial litigation that will support you and your spouse in avoiding court battles and resolving your divorce as amicably as possible. While both processes share that goal, they vary in some important respects. You should choose the process that provides you the help that you need to best meet your goal of an amicable resolution, recognizing that, while additional professional assistance can add to the cost, failure to reach a successful resolution may be the most financially and emotionally expensive outcome of all.
Every divorce requires you to deal with multiple issues involving property, income, support, and, if you have them, children. To succeed in a non-adversarial process, consider whom you need at the table to successfully negotiate all these issues.
Mediation
If you select mediation, the mediator will be “at the table” with you. An experienced divorce mediator will
The mediator will not
You can choose to confer with your own lawyer between mediation sessions.[1] A lawyer can only represent one spouse, so often both spouses elect to have a lawyer to advise them. Your lawyers will submit your settlement documents to the court, and you will not need to appear for a hearing. A lawyer can only represent one spouse, so often both spouses elect to have lawyers to advise them and to process the divorce through the court, once a settlement is reached.
Mediation is confidential, takes place on your schedule, and is cost effective. However, if either spouse needs help understanding the finances, if the spouses have unequal negotiating skills, or if you are dealing with complex issues such as substance abuse, mental health or emotional problems, or even if one of you is not comfortable negotiating without your lawyer present, the Collaborative process may be a better alternative.
Collaborative Divorce
Collaborative divorce employs a team of professionals committed to working together to guide you through negotiations and to resolution. Each spouse has a trained Collaborative attorney to provide legal advice and support. A mental health professional (“divorce coach”) assists with communication, navigating the emotional process of divorce and negotiating parenting issues; a child specialist ensures that the children’s needs are heard and addressed; and a financial professional helps to gather, analyze, and aid you in understanding financial and tax issues. Who is “at the table” depends on the agenda for the day. At times, you will meet with just your spouse and a neutral professional. You will also meet with your own lawyer for legal and negotiation advice. All are generally at the table for major decisions. Once you reach an agreement, the lawyers will manage the court non-contested divorce process and assist you in putting the terms of the settlement in place. Even after the judgment is entered, the divorce coach and child specialist are available for assistance with parenting concerns.
As with mediation, the Collaborative process is confidential and takes place on your schedule. Collaborative divorce adds skilled professionals to assist you towards settlement and addresses the emotional, financial, and legal issues related to divorce. The Collaborative process can be appropriate for even the most complex of legal, emotional, and financial situations.
Choosing the Right Option
Mediation and the Collaborative process both offer private and confidential methods to cooperatively navigate the complexities of divorce. Consider the unique details of your situation in selecting the best process for you. An initial appointment with you, your spouse, and a Collaborative divorce coach is a good place to start if you want to discuss this decision together with your spouse. Or if you prefer to consult individually at first, a Collaborative divorce attorney can help you consider your options and assist you in selecting the process that is best suited to you and your family.
[1] Some mediations include lawyers in the mediation sessions.
