The collaborative divorce movement was started in 1990 by a lawyer who believed two lawyers and two clients at the same table could work productively for the entire family’s benefit. As the movement gained momentum, the attorneys realized that the addition of a mental health clinician as Divorce Coach would greatly benefit not only the clients trying to divorce amicably, but also the attorneys trying to manage the legal and socioemotional aspects of divorce. We call this the Lego model, as we begin with a foundation, and then additional pieces, in our case, professionals, are added to the team. 

In the St. Louis collaborative group, when children are involved, we add a second mental health professional, called a Child Specialist, who is solely dedicated to the needs of the children during the divorce process. Not every collaborative practice in every town does this, but in St. Louis, we have seen the benefits of having two mental health professionals on a team whenever children are involved. The two mental health professionals divide the labor to avoid overlap or redundancy. The Divorce Coach is there for the parents; the Child Specialist is there for the children. 

The two professionals collaborate when a parenting plan is being developed so that the needs of the children, with whom the Child Specialist has met, have been heard. We  have found that the capacity for healing increases exponentially when children, no matter what age, have been able to voice their concerns, preferences, wants, and needs. The Child Specialist then takes into consideration those concerns, needs, and wants and shares them with the parents and the Divorce Coach. 

The Child Specialist never guarantees that children get exactly what they want, but the sensation the children gain of feeling heard and being part of the process is hugely productive as a family begins their new chapter in two homes. This increase in healing is vital for the entire family and can be greatly aided when the children have been consulted, listened to, and their needs presented and advocated for by a Child Specialist.

If you or someone you know is interested in learning more about the collaborative divorce process or learning more about which professionals are on the team, please check out the Collaborative Family Law Association website (stlouiscollaborativelaw.com) for more information.