Make Your Missouri Divorce Less Painful: 5 Do's & Don'ts

Make Your Missouri Divorce Less Painful

Preparation, getting the right support, and making sure you educate yourself on the right and wrong things to do can make the process a little less painful. Let’s take a look at some of the best and worst things you can do during the divorce process.

Here are 5 Do's and Don'ts of Missouri Divorce

DO be fair and equitable

Unfair settlements can hurt everyone, including kids. Strive to make sure your assets and custody arrangements are good for everyone, including your children.

DO make sure you have a support network

Don’t do this alone! Make sure you have friends, family or a support group to act as your sounding board. During even the smoothest divorce, you will face a roller coaster of emotions, so ask for help when you need it. You can support all of your children through this process more easily if you have your own emotional reinforcements. Just as you need friends who have your back during a divorce, you need legal and financial advice as well. Don’t try to figure out the best settlement options via Google; talk to an attorney who can give you advice based on your specific family and financial situation.

DO empower yourself

Educate yourself about divorce, the process, and the financial implications. Talk to an attorney and find out every step, how settlements can work, and options for child custody and support. You’ll feel more confident knowing what’s possible and what happens next. DON’T Use your kids as a wedge Your kids are hurting too, but they shouldn’t be asked to take sides – they should be neutral parties to the divorce. Most importantly, don’t say negative things about your spouse to your children or withhold time with them to punish your spouse. Your kids will need the support of both parents right now.

DON'T stay in the dark about your finances

If you haven’t been involved in financial planning or discussions during your marriage, you can go in to the divorce process at a disadvantage. Make sure you know the assets you and your spouse own, including property, bank accounts, insurance policies and retirement plans. You’ll also need this information to plan and budget for your life after the divorce.

Mary Neff is an experienced problem solver.  She works hard to support her clients so they can clearly and gracefully navigate one of life’s most challenging transitions.  Mary is a licensed Missouri and Illinois family law attorney, mediator and collaborative law practitioner.

Reach out to Mary to discuss your divorce options and how you and your spouse can divorce amicably.  Mary can be reached by phone at 314.454.9100, by email at mn***@ae******.com">mn***@ae******.com, or visit her website at

BAMSL & CFLA Present: Collaborative Divorce - What Is It and Why Are Clients Choosing It?

On February 2, 2016, the BAMSL ADR Committee has planned a Collaborative Divorce presentation as part of its Lunch & Learn Series. This one-hour lunch presentation is an opportunity for family law attorneys to find out why clients are choosing collaborative divorce and how the collaborative process is different than a litigated divorce.

CFLA members will be on the panel and Allison Gerli of the BAMSL Young Lawyer’s Division will moderate. Armstrong Teasdale has offered the use of its conference room in Clayton. See details below.

If you are an attorney or other professional who would enjoy learning more about collaborative practice and collaborative divorce, please feel free to attend. Registration begins at 11:45 am and the presentation will begin at 12:00 pm.

If the attorney is a BAMSL member, registration is $20.  For any non-BAMSL member, registration is $30. A box lunch is optional. If ordered, it will cost $10. BAMSL will handle lunch orders and have them ready at the door.  Registration for BAMSL events is open to any professional.

Family Law: Collaborative Divorce - What Is It and Why Are Clients Choosing It?
Co-sponsored by the Family Law Section, Collaborative Family Law Association and Young Lawyers Division
Laura J. Boedges, RICP®, CDFA™ — Financial Consultant, Rogers & Company, a Wealth Management Firm, Inc.
Marjorie K. Carter — Owner, Carter Family Law Group LLC
Alan E. Freed — Attorney/Mediator, Paule, Camazine & Blumenthal, P.C.
Allison R. Gerli — Attorney, The Center for Family Law
Yvonne M. Homeyer — Attorney/Mediator, Law Office of Yvonne Homeyer
Barbara A. Koppe, MSW, LCSW — Licensed Clinical Social Worker, The Marriage & Family Institute
Location: Armstrong Teasdale LLP, 7700 Forsyth Blvd., Clayton, Missouri 63105